Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Scaring College Boys
My first semester of college was one of the happiest times of my life. My roommates and I used to walk to an ice cream parlor in the middle of the night in our pajamas and we would stay up all night laughing and talking. It was like a four-month-long slumber party.
I remember one time we were at the ice cream parlor and one of my roommates showed off how she was double-jointed. One of the coolest things she could do was bend her hands so far down that they laid flat against her wrist. When she put her hands in her sleeve, it looked like she didn't have any hands at all. We showed the employees at the parlor and had a good laugh about it.
On the way home, we ran into a group of freshmen boys who were trying to squish an egg with one hand. (It's impossible because the pressure is evenly distributed.) They saw my double-jointed roommate, who was the prettiest of the bunch, and gravitated toward her.
None of us noticed her slip her hands in her jacket sleeve.
"Hey," said one of the boys, "Do you want to try to squish this egg with one hand?"
She raised up her handless wrists, made her bottom lip tremble, and cried, "I can't!"
The boys gasped and took a step back.
"I am so sorry," one of them said.
My roommates and I decided to join in on the prank.
"What's the matter, Stumpy? Can't squish an egg?"
"Little cripple, can't even squish an egg."
She put her nubs around one of the eggs and said, "Well, maybe I can squish it like this...." When she couldn't, she dropped her arms and frowned pathetically.
"Hey Stub, look what I can do," I said as I picked up an egg and waved it in front of her.
The boys were aghast. One even pulled her aside and asked, "Why do you let them talk to you like that?"
We never told the boys she had hands. To this day, they're probably still telling the story of the poor girl with no hands and how everyone made fun of her.