Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Stupid People are Funny

The good Lord in his infinite wisdom did not grant the same mental capacity to every member of the human race.

I knew a guy who was shockingly stupid.Once we were in a car talking about how cold it was outside when he asked, “What temperature is freezing?”

(What kind of a guy doesn’t know what freezing is?)

“It’s 32 degrees,” I said.

“Really?” He was surprised. “Isn’t it zero?”

“No, Celsius is freezing at zero.”

We drove by a screen that displayed the time and the temperature, which indicated that it was only 2 degrees outside. “So that screen is Celsius?” he asked.

“No, that’s Fahrenheit.”

“But it’s freezing at 32 degrees?”


“So right now it’s below freezing?”


He shook his head in disbelief. “That thing must be Celsius.”

“No, it’s Fahrenheit.”

He paused to think about this for a moment. Then he asked, “At what temperature does water freeze?”

Since it was the cold season, everyone was using hand sanitizer, but he used rubbing alcohol instead. “I kind of like the smell,” he said. “Besides, you get colds through your nose, so I try to smell it to keep from getting sick. I wash out my nose every day, and I never catch colds.”

This is everyone’s favorite:

He asked when my birthday was. I told him February 13. He said, “Oh, so it’s every seven years.”

I like telling this story to people in person because at first, they don’t get it. Then realization dawns on them and they say, “You don’t mean… he can’t possibly have thought…” Yes. He thought leap month happens every seven years.


  1. Maybe he thought that Feb 13th is sort of like Friday the 13th, therefore confusing it for the 29th of Feb (leap day)


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