Monday, April 18, 2011

I Can't Handle this Disappointment

I was totally cool about my 100 query rejections. So I had to rewrite the query, big whoop. I’m okay with things taking longer than I originally planned.

But I’m not okay with missed opportunities. You never get those back.

I latched onto something I want and can’t have, and it’s become an obsession. There’s a Historical Novel Society conference in San Diego this June. At this conference, I could meet authors and agents and editors and pitch my book and build connections and… well, basically go to writer’s heaven. And it’s all historical novels. Finding agents who are interested in historical fiction isn’t the easiest thing in the world.

To make matters worse, I have a published friend who’s going, and she has friends who are going that I can introduce myself to.

It would cost me around $1,500 dollars to go. There’s just no way. I won’t get into the details of why that’s impossible, but seriously, there’s just no way, save an act of God – which I’m not discounting.

I should have let it go right away, but I didn’t, and I regret that now. Every day I go on the website to see how many attendees have signed up and it’s killing me. I've watched open spots go from 79 to 68. It’s like a doomsday clock.

Why do I do this to myself? I’m going crazy! I reeeeealy want to go. This has put me completely out of my element because I always grasp opportunities, and this is the first one I wanted that was beyond my reach. I know that on June 17, I’m going to sit at my desk at my lame job and imagine all the wonderful adventures people are having in San Diego.

Keep your eye open for miracles, please. I know I am.

5 comments:

  1. Take the leap and go! That $1500 will seem like a small price to pay if you wind up with a published book as a result.

    And if you absolutely positively can't, maybe one of your friends can do a pitch for you?? I'd hate to see you miss an opportunity :(

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  2. Thanks, Gina, but it really is impossible. I think my husband and I could round up the money, but we owe someone else money and it wouldn't be right if we did something like this before paying them back.

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  3. I don't have the money it would require to attend most of the awesome conferences that I only dream about, so I understand.

    I hope something wonderful happens as well and you're able to go. But even if you don't go, there's always next year. And you'll have plenty of time to save for it!

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  4. I can't go either, and I live in San Diego County. It is a combination of money, and conflicts. As Lori wrote, "...there's always next year."

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  5. That is a bummer, especially if you are ready to get your work out there and want to meet people. Maybe your friend can bring back information for you that is a little more unique than what you'd find online. At least you have a connection to the conference, although I realize it's not the same thing as going.

    I found your blog from the Nathan Brandsford forums. Hi!

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