Friday, April 1, 2011

Twitter Pitch Contest

This might be the most helpful contest I've ever entered: you must create a pitch for your book that could fit in a Twitter feed. For April 1 and 2, people critique each others' pitches, and then we submit them on April 3.

Here's mine:

Title: Sacred Fire
Genre: Historical Fiction
Word Count: 94,000

A priestess of Vesta struggles with her faith until she is accused of losing her virginity. Now she must perform a miracle to save her life.

Please be brutal with your comments. The prize is a full novel request  from literary agent Suzie Townsend of Fine Print Literary Management. Ergo, I want this to be as perfect as possible.

Thanks in advance for your help!


  1. Oh, man! That's a great idea!

  2. I LOVE historical fiction. I am curious as to what this "miracle" might be.

  3. I have no real help...not sure the "of Vesta" is necessary, but I think it's concise and easy to follow.

  4. I'm curious if this accusation is false or not? Sounds like a great historical fiction!

  5. The story sounds awesome and love the pitch. Good Luck.

  6. This part kind of threw me off: 'struggles with her faith until she is accused of...'

    It seems to me that she would struggle more afterward. I know your story but, to others, it may be slightly confusing.

  7. PS. Disregard all previously said. I just read over it and realized it sounded stupid. XD

  8. I really like this. I know you want us to be brutal, but it's good! I'll take a stab at it ;o)

    [A Vesta priestess] struggles with her faith [when she's] accused of losing her virginity. Now she must perform a miracle to save her life.

    Is there any room to add what the miracle is? I really think you did a great job of putting it all in there.

    Great job!

  9. This is an AWESOME pitch! Sounds like something I would definitely read. Sorry I can't be of much help, but I really don't think this needs much tweaking.

    Best of luck! :)

  10. Great pitch and wonderful concept. I'll echo Erica's comment in that, personally, I'd prefer seeing the MC's name in place of or in addition to "A priestess of Vesta". It'd give the pitch a bit of personalization because the reader might want to know who "she" is.

    But that's a nit-pick tweak. It's a great pitch. Best of luck!

  11. My only comment echoes those above. Can you replace Vesta with her name? Or is Vesta critical?

  12. I'd like to have her name as well and maybe a little more clarity. Why does she struggle with her faith until she is accused of losing her virginity? It doesn't make sense to me that after being accused, she no longer struggles with her faith. I don't know, maybe it's just me. I know it's hard to get everything in that needs to be there in such a small pitch. I'd work on clarity. Or completely ignore me because everyone else seems to like. Not that I don't, I'm very intrigued by your story. Okay, I'm going to stop rambling now and wish you luck in the contest1 :D

  13. Wow! I can't believe I got such a great response!

    I would love to put her name in there, but I literally have no more characters left. The "Vesta" thing is important because it puts everything in context for people who know about the Vestal Virgins. It basically tells half the story.

    I would very much like help with the "until" part, because it doesn't make much sense. Tuccia struggles, she's accused, she takes a leap of faith and performs a miracle... the "until" tells us she gets her faith back. Any advice?

  14. Don't you love it when everyone's like GIVE ME SPECIFICS, and you're like I ONLY HAVE 140 CHARACTERS!

    Best of luck to you!
    I've re-done mine a million times :D

  15. I love historical fiction and your novel seems like it would be right up my alley.

    Best of luck!!

    M.J. Fifield
    My Pet Blog

  16. How about: A Vestal Virgin struggles with her faith, then is accused of losing her virginity. Now she must perform a miracle to save her life.

    I think that "Vestal Virgin" more specifically brings to mind what that ancient order was like, without making the subsequent word "virginity" sound repetitive. The contrast between "now" and "Then" may solve the problem of "until."

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