Saturday, May 21, 2011

A Pet-sitter for Armageddon

Jesus is coming today. Everybody look busy.

I heard the craziest thing on the radio today; someone realized that when the believers get whisked away to heaven today, who will take care of their pets?

He started a business offering to take in every abandoned pet after the world ends. Seriously. It costs $139, the fee is non-refundable (of course), and it’s good for ten years. Ergo, you can buy it now and still be covered when the world ends in 2012 like the Aztecs say it will.

This guy has made $35,000 off of this business.

That’s just brilliant.

The reporter asked the obvious question: “What if you go to heaven? Then what will the pets do?” The owner of the company had that covered: he’s an atheist, so he’s not going anywhere.

The next obvious question was, “When these people go to heaven, how can they trust you to keep your side of the bargain?”

He sounded as serious as could be when he answered, “We ask that customers find friends who won’t be saved, like a Jew or a Muslim or a Methodist, to make sure we take care of the pets like we say we will.”

Finally, the reporter asked, “Do you think tomorrow, you’ll have hundreds of animals on your hands?”

“No,” the man answered, “I think we’re going to get phone calls from some pretty disappointed people asking for their money back.”

13 comments:

  1. Or he'll have dozens of poorly behaved dogs dumped on his doorstep by people pretending to be raptured because Fido kept pooping on the floor, biting friends and eating shoes. :)

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  2. What a fantastic idea! That's just what the apocalypse needs - some pragmatists. I love the bit about finding a Jew, a Muslim or a Methodist to take care of your pets!

    Thanks for the blog award you gave me. I am a bit slack, and have only just posted it on my blog and linked back to you.

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  3. So that's why my brother left his dog and cat with me for a week last month - he was trying me out for future services.

    Really, that story would be a perfect Monty Python sketch.

    I also recently read a legend about a Hindu saint who, when brought to heaven and told his dog must stay outside, he replied he wouldn't turn away from one who'd always been so loyal, and God revealed it was only a test, and he'd passed.

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  4. LOL, I thought the Jews were the chosen ones?! Oh well, I guess it's who you talk to...Speaking of the rapture, a man on Craigslist placed an ad accepting any donations from those who would be leaving us (since they won't be needing their assets anymore) so that he could pay off student loans, etc.

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  5. I'm going to kill that guy! $139 WASTED. I was going to use that money to buy books until I heard about the rapture. CURSES CURSES CURSES!

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  6. Oh...my god. LOL. No pun intended. How would he get hold of ALL the pets people pay to have taken care of?

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  7. LOL! "or a Methodist" *snort* :D

    awww... and I'm sure he did~

    funny stuff!

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  8. Lol. It makes me a bit sad that $35,000 worth of people actually believed this and paid up.

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  9. Lol. It makes me a bit sad that $35,000 worth of people actually believed this and paid up.

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  10. Nice! Really cool stuff and very inspiring. Thanks for sharing!

    Pet Sitting Mckinney

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