Wednesday, August 10, 2011

"What the crap?" said the Garbage Man

Before I tell my Story of the Week, I have a question; is my Followers button working? It's not working for me, and I haven't had any new followers in a while. This brings me sadness.

My parents are big scuba divers, and they like to explore the Oregon Coast. There are so many beautiful octopi that my parents fell in love with the animals and forbade me from eating them, ever.

They often took spears with them to catch fish. We kids would watch my parents crawl through the surf after a dive carrying dripping fish fresh from the ocean.

One time, my parents ran into a stingray. It was lovely, but dangerous, and my dad thought it would be good to eat. He speared it. Both of my parents grasped onto it, lugged it up the beach, and threw it into the car.

My dad was thrilled as he set down a tarp in the drive way and laid down the stingray. He pulled out a jagged scuba knife, and with a grin on his face, sliced that thing down the middle from its head all the way down to his tail.

It didn't occur to him that the front would be filled with stinking guts. The creature's bloodless intestines and lungs spilled onto the driveway and we all covered our noses. It looked like grey water balloons. My dad dug around in there looking for meat, but there was nothing edible.

My dad thought there would be meat in the wings, but they were mostly filled with cartilage. He realized he killed the stingray for nothing and felt ashamed as he threw it in the trash.

The next day was garbage day. I knew how this would play out, so I got up early and crouched by the window to wait for the garbage man.

The truck pulled up and he whistled casually as he approached our garbage can. He took off the lid, and leapt into the air. The fish stared up at him with his beady, glossy eyes.

He wouldn't even approach the can at first. He just circled it from a safe distance for a good minute. Finally the garbage man picked up the can and dumped it in the truck. I roared with laughter that was so loud, I was surprised he couldn't hear me.


  1. Ah, poor sting ray. :(

    I clicked your follow button and it popped up a little window like it should. Of course I'm already following you so it didn't go through the whole process.

  2. That's a great story! Your poor garbage man is probably still in therapy!

  3. Great story.

    And as always, here is the skinny on another writing competition.


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