Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Embarrasing Parents

My parents are two very different people.

When I was in high school, my mom ran into the house with a grin on her face and a CD in her hand. "I just heard the best song!" she said. "You're going to love it!"

She popped it into the CD player, pressed play, and danced around the house. That was the first time I heard "I Like Big Butts." So my mom is pretty cool. 

My dad is the kind of guy who tells the same jokes as often as humanly possible. I hate cemeteries because of him. Everytime we pass by one, he says, "People are dying to get in there." I also never start a sentence with the word "surely" because he will undoubtably say, "Don't call me Shirley."

My parents rarely embarrass me, but there was this one time I'll never forget. We were in a store and my brothers and I found one of those video game demos and started playing it. When my dad was done shopping and told us we had to go, we didn't want to stop. We said, "We'll leave in just a sec," and kept playing.

My dad came back later and we said the same thing: "We'll be ready in just a sec."

The third time he came by we said, "Just a sec."

By this time, his face was red. My dad shouted loud enough for everyone in the store to hear, "No more secs, let's go!"

Confused people looked into our ailse to see who was having sex in the store. We covered our faces and ran to the car.


  1. No more secs...wonderful. Ref graveyard jokes I've been waiting all my life for someone to ask me where the cemetery is. My answer is ready - 'the dead centre of town'

  2. Mike, just tell people that where you come from cemeteries are in the 'dead center' of town. I've heard that one...once or twice.

    Teralyn, that was SO funny! I would probably run too. Especially if I was there with my brother!

  3. That is hilarious! My father, when I was a teenager who would have rather died than be seen with him, once yelled out across a crowded department store to me and my sister: "Jenny! Kathy! If you want me I'll be over here fingering the ladies lingerie!"
    I don't know what the reaction was. I just kept my head down and kept moving.

  4. in keeping with the last few posts, i'd thought this would be an entry on how to embarrass your parents {embarrassing parents sounded like a gerund instead of an adjective when i first read it}. however, i love this story! i don't think you were at the group when i told them about when i was lil and my mom was chatting with a friend. i touched her arm to get her attention and she held up her wait a minute finger and said, 'just a minute'. so i counted to 60, cuz that's a minute, and interrupted her again, and she said, 'a minute' and i burst into tears, crying that it's already been a minute.

    i can be very literal.

    'no more secs'


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