Tuesday, November 6, 2012

How to Pitch Like a Rockstar Contest

Heather Webb at Between the Sheets is hosting a pitch contest on her blog today. Writers give advice on other people's pitches and then submit them on November 7-20. The prize: a ten-page critique by Michelle Brower, agent at Folio Literary Management. That's too good to pass up!

I had to pull myself out of the Nano trenches to write this, but hopefully it turned out okay. This is for my novel SACRED FIRE:

Tuccia’s life as a Vestal Virgin is upended when the goddess she serves doesn't rescue her best friend from being wrongly executed. When she finds herself in the same situation, she must perform a miracle to prove she’s favored of the gods. Despite her long-held hurt toward Vesta, she will do anything to save her life, even if it means taking a leap of faith.

Critique away!


  1. Hi Teralyn,

    It's an interesting start. A few things stand out for me - the first sentence could be a rocker but "doesn't rescue her" doesn't feel like strong language. "Turns her back on her best friend who is wrongly executed"? Something more blameworthy, more active, something you'd be really pissed that Vesta DID. Then the central conflict expressed in the third sentence is missing something that would make me want to cheer for Tuccia - she's just saving her own life? What about every other Vestal Virgin? Is there something bigger than just saving her hide that she's doing by performing this miracle?

    Hope that helps! :)

  2. This is a passionate plot so you could add more passion and immediacy. Maybe hint at the miricle's cost to Tuccia.
    I like Keely's ideas. She nailed it. I wonder a little bit about the setting, spirit realm, earth, or both?

  3. Hi Teralyn,

    First of all, thanks for visiting my blog and apologies my pitch wasn't up at the time of your visit (due to technical glitches across time zones).

    Your pitch sounds very interesting. Would just comment that your second line needs rewording to make it clearer who will do anything to save whose life-- I assume it is Vesta who will save Tuccia's life?

    Maybe also add some more drama to the wording of the conflict/problem. It is Tuccia's life at stake, so maybe instead of saying 'When she finds herself in the same situation', say 'When her own life is in peril' or something more dramatic like that.

    I would also write 'favored by the gods' rather than 'of the gods'.

    I hope that helps. Best of luck, and please do drop by my blog again.


  4. Keely questions points are right on. Also, how is Tuccia's life upended? Is she devastated over her friend's death? Another thing--you talk about Tuccia risking her life for Vesta? Why and how does that come about?

    The premise of this is awesome, Teralyn! I can't wait to see what you do to your pitch. Good luck with this! :)

  5. Think this has promise. Interesting story, but agree with all above. Choose some words that help explain the crisis. "doesn't stop the execution of --- falsely accused? What is the dilemma here that makes Tuccia's life threatened and her beliefs shaken?


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